Reasons to act like an 18 year old

The prospect of hanging round with 18 year olds is not a particularly enticing one, I thought they were immature when I was 18 myself, what am I going to think now? Here is a quick rundown on why it may not be so bad.

Reason 1. Like the average 18 year old, I've never had a proper relationship. I guess technically I lived with my first girlfriend for a short time but I was one of two lodgers and had my own room. Besides, she was 18 years older than me and it wasn't a relationship relationship. After that, I just had flings here and there and extremely long, dry spells. I mean, if you just picked a night of my life at random- post-puberty- you'd almost certainly find me in bed alone having a wank.

I promise I am not going to keep mentioning Emma. Not the old one, anyway. (The new one is my Fiat Punto SX). But to illustrate my point she is the closest I've come to a serious relationship and that lasted all of 3 months. Even then, we never actually got to spend the night together. She couldn't stay the night at mine because she had children. Sex at her place would be in the lounge after the kids were in bed. But her two youngest shared a room with her, so I'd catch a train home. That's how sad my life is. Not 'I just stepped on a landmine' sad. Just, 'I feel sorry for myself anyway' sad.

Incidentally, I won't be chasing 18 year olds as potential lovers. Quite apart from the fact that I'm sure they won't be interested in me, I am not interested in them. I think my lower limit in terms of a periodic tumble in the hay is about 27 and my realistic lower limit for a relationship is about 37 and my probable age in terms of who will be interested in me is about 48. I'm actually not kidding.

Reason 2. It's my destiny. These past 20 years I've had a recurring dream about going back to Lord Wandsworth College to be a sixth former. I never understood the dream and it felt weirder as I got older. But now it makes sense. 

Reason 3. 

I've been growing younger. When I was 18 I was actually middle-aged. I listened to Radio 3 and had a walking stick. I wore a tweed jacket I bought in a charity shop and tried to learn Latin. I now listen to Europe's best alternative music radio station, I'm a lot less uptight and I have all sorts of chops I wish I'd had at 18. And I think Latin is an absolute waste of time.